It’s part and parcel of being awake that you don’t take things too seriously. The thing you probably take the least seriously is yourself. I’ve heard enlightenment described as the ‘restoration of cosmic humor.’ I think that’s a wonderful description. If you think you’re awake, but you don’t have a sense of humor, you’re probably not as awake as you imagine yourself to be. Humor comes with the knowledge that all is well.
Okay, let’s start with actually using our phones for what they were invented for. Yes, call them. Stop hiding behind your fucking phone. A real conversation is the first step to get to know someone. If someone is asking you out via text, text them to call you and if they won’t, they don’t deserve to go on a date with you. This isn’t junior high. Call them and exchange voices. Texting is a conversation as much as smoke signals are. Talk. Hear them. Feel their energy, vibe. Discover. Dance.
Don’t treat the date like it’s a business meeting or something that just happened by chance. The intention isn’t to be friends or strike a busienss deal. You’re looking for a lover, correct? Then act like it. Plan something. Set an intention. Put your best foot forward. Because they are too and it’s your job to set the tone. You don’t have to hand wash your car or put a playlist together. But Jesus, open a door. Engage. Ask questions. Be interested and interesting. Effort. Effort. Effort. Put some into it. You get back what you put in. Now if there’s no connection, that’s okay. That’s all just a part of dating. But don’t act like your time was wasted or that you were ripped off. Magic is hard to find. Your parents had to kiss a lot of frogs before they met so why shouldn’t you? The internet doesn’t hack that for you.
The aftermath
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If things didn’t work out, don’t be an asshole. Be a good fucking human, the kind that your kids would be proud of, and be respectful. Know that you got to hear a new story, as did they, and that’s a privilege. There’s no waste in connecting with a human.
Here’s the thing. You can’t want a cleaner world and toss your bag of Wendy’s out your car window. So if you want people to find love again. If you want dating to be fun again. If you believe in romance. Then stop reading about it and let’s save dating by putting some effort into it and by being responsible. Save dating by treating people like human beings. Save dating by practicing transparency and showing your true self. Save dating by actually going on real dates. Then maybe we will all have a better chance at love.
